I chose you
Infinities of You!
In all my chosing of you, I forgot about me. I forgot that in chosing all these things and all of these people, I was neglecting me. Who would choose me? It never occurred to me that I should choose me. For as long as I can remember there has always been something or someone I have chosen. There have always been priorities that outweigh individual needs. But deep down, I have always longed for that Dirty Dancing moment when Patrick Swayze says, “No one puts baby in the corner.” I wanted someone to choose me in a public, hold no bars, I will destroy all things to get to you, kind of chosing. I have wanted it so badly that at times, I could physically feel the want of it. Then someone asked, “have you chosen you, yet?”
Of course, I have, duh!!!
Then it got quiet and dark and the truth started crawling out of my wounds.
No, my dear you have never chosen you,
unless it was to lay upon an altar of your own building.This realization led me to my One Magical Word for 2018:
When I sifted through all my thoughts and feelings about this word, I realized it was the perfect companion to last years word, Invincible. I had no idea when I picked, Invincible, that 2017, would be the year that I needed to be Invincible. I was Invincible because I chose to be, I looked every challenge and heartbreak in the eye and went to battle when I needed to. Chosen feels like a completion of last years word. I was Invincible because I was Chosen.
This year I will unapologetically chose me.
What does being chosen mean to me? It means that while I will weigh every choice and take in every opinion, in the end, I will choose me. I will learn how to love myself, even when I am feeling unloved by others. I will look into the mirror and say “I love you” and actually mean it. I will learn to say “no” to places, people, and things that are not in alignment with my soul. I will stop the internal dialogue that says, “Just be happy with what you got. Stop being so needy”. I will learn to spoil my body with things that bring it pleasure. I will treat my body as the temple, it is. I will feed my soul daily. I will stop waiting for pleasure to find me, I will intentionally search it out.
It means that in 2018, instead of longing to be chosen I will choose myself, completely as I am. Regardless if I am broken, whole, sick, healthy, wealthy, poor, skinny, fat, sad, or happy. It means that I will not look outside of myself for validation of my worth. I will be my own Patrick Swayze. It means that I am Chosen because I choose me. This word feels like freedom. Chosen is the One Magical Word that I will carry with me throughout 2018. It will remind me through the good, bad, heartbreaking and heart opening times, that I was made for times such as these, that I am strong enough because I am Chosen.
I challenge you to find your own, One Magical Word. Do you know where you want to go in 2018? What are your intentions? What do you hope to create? What gives you little goosebumps and butterflies in your tummy? What feels like freedom? When you have that word embrace it, use it, and watch miracles happen.
Now, for my favorite part of this One Magical word for 2018, the magic making. I can’t wait to share with you the magical items, songs, and quotes to go with my word: