I need this space! I need some place where I am free to think, cry, laugh, rage, or feel nothing at all, if this is even possible, I hope to find out. I have decided to chronicle my current journey through this blog. I have no idea where it will take me but I know that for now this minute it feels like something I have to do. I am doing this for no one but me. I feel that as the days go on and I continue to deal with my father’s illness there may be wisdom gained for the future that if I don’t write it down I may forget it.
I DON’T WANT TO FORGET A MINUTE OF THIS TIME!
Plus people keep asking when I am going to start blogging again, so I figure now is as good as a time as any.
My life is no better, no worse than anyone else’s it is just mine. From the moment I could write I have done so as a way to try to make order out of chaos. Writing helps to calm me and it would appear that I am in great need of a calming place. I need a release valve! After all, I have been told that hitting people is bad, that keeping everything inside is giving me ulcers, that my chest pain is a real medical condition that is not made any better by stress and after a bout of road rage over my opinion that people were driving too slow, after all I had to get to my dad, I thought hmm there has to be a better way. Maybe this is it.
So what do I plan on writing about? My life, my truth, my ah-ha moments, everything and anything. As with most things you have an idea at the onset and then it turns out completely differently than planned. My plan at this point is to chronicle this chapter of my life with my dad. I went looking the other day for a blog about dealing with an aging parent and ultimately about saying goodbye. OUCH! And all I could find was stuff that felt edited. I wanted RAW! I wanted FUNNY! I wanted TRUTH! I wanted REAL! So I am playing with this blogging thing. Wording it like that makes blogging feel less like a chore and more like a fun thing to do. So how often or even if I ever do this again I have no idea. For today, I have had something to do that I could control, that I got to decide what would happen, how it would end, this is something that you rarely get to do in life let alone when dealing with a sick parent.
So now to the rules, yes even blogs can have rules.
1.) This is my blog; these are my personal opinions and feelings. If you don’t like what you are reading you have every right to stop.
2.) Do not take anything personally; if I don’t specifically name you do not assume I am talking about you. I have seen this take place on Facebook I find it so ridiculous. A wise grasshopper once told me not everything is about you; you’re just not that special sorry. 😉
3.) Keep it nice, you don’t have to agree with me but please remember the Golden Rule.
4.) Ask questions but be prepared for me to tell you what I really think. So ask with caution.
5.) Please be slow to anger and judgment. We are all doing the best we can and that includes me.