I grew up with a Bible in my hands and knowing how to pray. It was something we did regularly, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime. I also attended private Christian Schools for most of my education, so there was a lot of prayer, scattered throughout my day. As I grew older, it was a habit, something I did when I needed something, was worried, or was getting ready to eat, rather than a Holy Dialogue. I had my own Epochal Event, 10 years ago when every belief about life, love, religion, G*d, and prayer, changed.
We all have experienced them to some degree or another. It arrives unexpectedly, waking you from a peaceful sleep and into a walking nightmare. First assaulting your ears, you can no longer understand the language of people around you, this isn’t happening, this cannot be real. Then assaulting your eyes, the sun could not possibly be rising, it was too bright, it hurt! Time to close the curtains. Then the skin you have been wearing so comfortably starts peeling from your bones, you feel ever single cut, your faith starts to ooze from your soul, the air you breathe no longer feels clean, everything is now poisoned. You are left with nothing but a few molecules that barely resemble the you; you knew but seconds before. There is no longer a safe space, there is no safe fall, you have nothing left, it is just you or what barely looks like you and a million questions scattered around.
This is where my Holy Dialogue began. It started not with questions or supplications but rather with a declaration.
I KNOW NOTHING!!!
This declaration led me to my current home, a small town on the Oregon Coast, where blown glass art is everywhere, in fact one of the things you can do here is make your own Glass Float. Glass floats are a big deal! They were once used by fishermen, to keep their fishing nets, as well as longlines or drop lines afloat. Now, people use them as decorations. When I moved here, one of the first things I did was make a glass float.
Making a glass float requires you to wear safety gear, as you will be working near fire, extreme heat, and hot melted glass. While I was being fitted with all the safety gear, I was asking A LOT of questions. As they were telling me about where I would start and the process, I started seeing the similarities between where I was spiritually at that moment and what I would be doing. I would begin and return to the “Glory Hole”.
The Glory Hole is used to reheat a piece of glass in between steps of working with it. The imagery of my life was becoming more clear moment, by heated moment. I was in the “Glory Hole“. I was being reheated, in order to reawaken to my souls journey. This wasn’t the end, horrible karma, unrepented sin, not enough faith, THIS was the Hot Painful, yet Exquisite Glory Hole, where The Divine was Lovingly melting away my old form in order to create a more loving authentic creation of my soul.
This was not my first visit to the Glory Hole, nor would it be the last. I needed to learn, accept, and love that there is not a place to arrive here on earth but rather a place to grow, to learn, and love into, and then to be melted down and do it all again to be of service yet again, in another beautiful way.
With each trip to the Glory Hole, I am awakened to a new way of being, of loving and I learn. I use to believe in a world of black and white but I no longer believe in black or white but rather in rainbow colors and hues and in shades of gray.
I also no longer believe in “prayer” or at least in the way I had been using it for most of my life. Why would one only talk to The Divine at meal times when one could be in constant commune with The Divine? No, I do not believe in “prayer” but I do believe in have a Holy Continuous Dialogue With The Divine.
You may be asking yourself what does that mean or what does that look like?
It means that I am in continual conversation with The Divine.
What is The Divine?
Some call it G*d, Nature, Allah, Mother Earth, Shiva, The Universe, Energy, or any Deity that a person feels spiritually connected too. It means that when I am cleaning the kitchen, I am in conversation, when I am pondering a question, I am in conversation, when I am making love, I am in conversation, when I am fighting, I am in conversation, when I am afraid, angry, happy, sad, lonely, euphoric, empty, giddy, nostalgic, at any moment, with any feeling, The Divine is part of my conversation.
I have also developed mantras to help get me through moments in life when I do not know what words to speak. When I am not sure what I want, or am unsure of my motives.
“A mantra is usually any repeated word or phrase.
Mantra comes from a Sanskrit word meaning a “sacred message or text, charm, spell, counsel.”
I keep these short, so that in times when my heart, mind, body, or soul is weary they are easy to remember. I practice them when I am strong, so that when I am weak they will be at the ready.
For when I am anxious or afraid:
“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well”
Julian of Norwich
For when I am angry:
I wish them well, I wish them well
For when I am really angry but I need them to be removed for my own healing to occur:
I wish them well, I wish them well, I wish them well, far away from me
I recently offered 90 minutes of free coaching as a way to be of service to women who were struggling with this election. What I hadn’t expected was the response I would receive, nor was I prepared for the righteous anger, (we will talk about the value of righteous anger in another blog) that I would feel on their behalf. So, as any good coach does, I got my own coaching and yet I still felt lost. The mantras that had carried me through the years were leaving me feeling empty. Oh, the Refiner’s Fire of The Divine, I know it well. It is time to grow a little more. It was time to tune in and start listening. It took a while but I found it, from a friend, of a friend, Stephie Michaels, when I was Brave and Vulnerable and said I am struggling. She helped me find my new mantra.
May WE receive the FULLNESS of our karma for our actions, whether for good or ill
Notice the “WE” part. That for me is important, when I say “WE” , “I” am included. I am asking for the FULLNESS of reward for what “WE” have done; good or bad. It isn’t from a place of anger or hurt or vengeance but rather so that “WE” can learn to choose righteousness and love and “WE” will be rewarded in return with that but that when “WE” are choosing hate or self-interest “WE” will be rewarded with that. I also have told my clients that when struggling with injustice, they can put a name in if it helps them. When we say this even when thinking about someone else, we do not know their true heart, so we are asking for them to be rewarded based on their heart, not on what we believe their motives are. It helps us to keep ourselves in check. This is Justice. Justice is what I had been missing.
I encourage you to start a Holy Dialogue. Just start talking, asking, and listening, this is where the miracles start happening. You will start finding answers to your questions all around you. The only requirement of you is that you BE OPEN, BE VULNERABLE, BE TEACHABLE, AND BE BRAVE!
If you are in you are in the “Glory Hole” and need some guidance and love, I am here. I know that it can feel like the fire will destroy you but it won’t. I can help you see the beauty of the Glory Hole. Schedule a FREE 30 Minute Session. In that 30 Minutes, you will walk away with a plan and with hope.
If you would like to get the Behind The Scenes of my blog, special offerings, and my musings sign up here: