Oh, how I use to hate my Green Eyed Monster. I would berate her, tolerate her, make excuses for her but never once did I think that I could embrace her. I thought that she was evil. That was until she introduced herself to me. I sat down and had a long talk with her and I found out she didn’t want to take anything away from anyone, just because she was around didn’t mean I didn’t appreciate my blessings, she just wanted to guide me into deeper understanding.
Psychologists have identified two kinds of envy. One is Malignant/Malicious and the other one is benign but I like to think of it as Advantageous. Malicious Envy is dangerous; it is driven by all our negative thoughts. It is our want of something even if it means you have to take it and destroy someone in the the process. Advantageous Envy, teaches us. It forces you to ask yourself really good questions.
I want to do that!
How did she do it?
What life challenges did she face?
It gives a road map to you of the direction your soul is calling you to take. It screams of admiration and hope.
Advantageous Envy is one of the most powerful teachers I have found. But there are some really important rules to follow when using envy.
Compare Gently and Truthfully
- When comparing yourself to someone else it must be done with the intention of your own growth. You must look into the person’s life and realize you only see the part of the story; the part she allows you to see. There may be hurts and pain that you cannot imagine by just looking on the outside. Be mindful of your inner critic when comparing.
Discover What You Love
- What do you love about this person? What are their strengths? Talk to them. I find honesty works. Tell them you admire them and want to know how they have been able to accomplish….. When you do this it allows you the opportunity to see what has worked for them and if that will be able to work for you.
Make A Plan
- Greatness inspires greatness. As Danielle LaPorte says, “Action Trumps Hope”. Make small action plans that lead you towards the life you envy. If you want to travel more start making little changes to your budget and travel. It is the small adjustments that help you reach your destination.
Know When Envy Is No Longer Serving you
- If you find you are consumed with perfection and are finding yourself struggling with malicious envy. STOP! Take a step back. Do a thought download and write down 25 things you are grateful for. Then reassess your envy. Is it still serving you? Or are you serving it? Every person has their own path. Different things will work for different people.
Use Advantageous Envy as a guide. Let it teach you and inspire you to live the life you desire.
“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it
even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi
Are you ready to LET ENVY BE YOUR GUIDE?
Schedule your FREE 30-minute session now!