What do you envision when I ask you to define extreme?
What mental pictures do you see?
This is what I see
Extreme is defined in the dictionary as:
Exceeding the bounds of moderation
Extreme is not a word I would have used to describe me based on what I thought it meant. But when I stepped outside of my thoughts and looked a little closer, I realized I have lived my life in extremes.
Wife: can’t be just be what I think makes me a good wife, it has to be what Eric, friends, family and society thinks that means.
Mother: I have to be a granola cooking, homeschooling, perfect mother who never leaves her kids.
Daughter: Don’t Disappoint
Sister: Don’t Argue
Friend: Never Say No
Tell you I love you: Means I have to be willing to die for you or I really don’t love you
Do you see the running theme?
P E R F E C T
My thoughts were that I HAD to be perfect. In order to achieve this perfection meant that I had to live my life in varying degrees of extremes. It also meant that I had some crazy expectations of all the people I tried to share my perfection with. I had created hell with all of my definitions of perfection and caused a lot of pain for myself and others in the process.
I can love you and disagree with you.
I can be for you but not with you.
I can cook you a meal that isn’t organic.
I can love you and not kill myself in the process.
I can’t be perfect, no one is.
What I can do is be me crazy, imperfect, glitter obsessed me.