If ever there was a time to be drowning in fear it would appear to be now. If you are unsure, all you have to do is turn on the TV, listen to talk radio, or god forbid log onto Facebook and you will be inundated with messages of fear.
Trump is the next Hitler
Obama wants to take your guns
Muslims are evil
Men want to abuse you
Bathrooms are dangerous because someone who is transgender might be using them
The world is full of dangers you could be maimed or killed at any moment
The list goes on and on
What it all comes down to is FEAR and as a people we are DROWNING in it.
Sadly, I think instead of trying to save ourselves and actually doing something, we are adding weighted belts of fear and we are drowning faster and faster by the second. As most of you know, I have spent the last few months stuck at home due to illness and so I have had a lot of time to be afraid, to sit and to think.
What are we so afraid of?
I don’t think it is Trump, Obama, guns, Muslims, men, or bathrooms. I think those are the things we name to distract us from what we are really afraid of. We are afraid of our complete and utter lack of control. You, my dear, are in control of absolutely NOTHING. Anything you think, you control, is only an illusion. That is why all of these things bring so much fear into our lives. They make us look at how really small we are and that at the end of the day we are at the mercy of things we cannot see or control and that is really scary.
What if Trump becomes president? What happens if you don’t have a gun? What happens if your neighbor is a Muslim? What happens if men abuse you? What if someone you love is murdered? What if someone you love is gay? What if the person in the stall next to you has genitals that aren’t like yours? What if your little girl is really a little boy? What happens if you die? What happens if everything you believed today proved tomorrow to be a lie? Guess what? All of those thing can happen; YOU will still be YOU and YOU will be okay. In fact, I have survived quite a few of those things. Maybe that is why I don’t fear them anymore. Okay, maybe I do a little.
Truthfully, Trump scares me A LOT but only because it touches on what my greatest fear truly is. My only true fear is to have a heart that has become hardened. Listening to Trump and keeping my heart soft is not easy. My greatest fear is not to die, is not to suffer, is not to be raped, or mutilated, or to lose everything, my greatest fear is to look at the person next to me and see the color of their skin, their nationality, their religion before I listen for the sound of their heart. My greatest fear is that I will raise children who will become so deaf by the screaming of the world that they will no longer hear the of the song their heart and beautiful song that their heart can make with another heart heart regardless of where that heart comes from.
Fear Not My Heart Sings
Today, I witnessed my son hear his heart, loud and clear and it broke mine. We are blessed to know many different people of many different faiths, nationalities, and sexual orientations, so my kids are extremely open. Some might even call them bleeding heart liberals. They would say better bleeding hearts then no heart at all, but I digress. So, this son happens to hear one friend attack another friend based purely on their faith, nothing else. So far as we know, they disagree on nothing, except one is Muslim and one is Christian”ish”. My son says nothing except, “I am done.” I know my son; I know what this means. This means he has just cut all ties with his one friend. As mom, my heart breaks because I see the hurt and disappointment in his eyes and I know his heart and it is hurt. I want to say something, I want to help him see both sides, I know I have wisdom I could impart, so I start to speak. And he just looks at me and I know. He says his friend’s name who is Muslim, who was not born here and his eyes turn sad. So much is said without a word.
When he finally has the words to speak, this is what he said:
“IF Trump wins and IF god forbid he sends my friend away, I will go with him.”