As any mother knows there are a days in their child’s life that they look forward to with a mixture of great anticipation and dread. There are the days that we will find ourselves looking into the eyes of our child knowing that from this moment on, their life will take a distinctive path. That their path will verge away from you and towards their destiny.
Today marks one of these days for me. Today my soul rejoices while tears fall from my eyes. My Joe Boss, my pillar of strength and love, heads off to his first day of college. Only the heart of a mother knows the unique feeling this brings. As I watch him prepare to start his day my mind floods with pictures of his childhood.
The moment he emerged from my body not breathing, the fear soaked in silence, the prayers floating up to heaven and the answer from heaven screamed to us in a cry. The two year old who didn’t know why his mommy was crying only that she was and with a love so pure helped her heal her heart. The first day of school when he bounded up to the kitchen table thinking that he would be reading by the end of the day, his sister rolling her eyes at his excitement. These and a million more float like autumn leaves through my mind.
This is the moment we have been preparing for. We are unique in the fact that this first day of school for me is one that many parents experience when their child is five years old. I have put this day off as long as I could, the very thought of being away from my children for eight hours a day seemed insane. I didn’t have these children for someone else to raise. I brought these children into the world and I planned on spending every moment possible with them. I knew from the moment I realized I was pregnant that it was the beginning of a lifetime journey of trust and release. He would come through me but he would not be me. I have struggled, fought, pulled my hair out, cried, laughed, and been filled with pride as I watched him grow and learn. I have often wondered if we would survive this journey of homeschooling, but I knew my job as his mother was a sacred calling. I would send this soul, lent to me, out into the world with every ounce of knowledge, be it academic, emotional, or spiritual I could give him. Being a mother is being ever present, ever diligent and knowing that every moment you are in the presence of your child you are in the presence of a Divine Gift.
Son, listen to your teachers not only with your ears but also with your heart and spirit. Test everything; believe nothing until it resonates within you. The world is yours, be wise you were created for greatness settle for nothing less. Your road is diverging from ours but you are our legacy, never forget that love paved the path you walk today. Much has been given to you and much will be expected of you. Great things are expected of great men and you my son are a great man.
So my gift, as I watch you eat your breakfast, style your hair, and drive out of the driveway know that a thousand prayers of protection go with you, that a legion of angels stand at your side, and my heart goes with you. I am beyond proud of the man I was blessed to raise and call my son.